‘Why are my poops so big?’ I will ask this now. On a good day I can eke by with a double flush, but most days I require my plunger's assistance. ‘I wonder if poop this size is normal or healthy,’ I think. ‘I wonder if excessive whiskey bulks up poop somehow, with its chemicals.’ ‘What is a good plunger,’ I sometimes think about. ‘I should get a travel one, in case.’